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16 August 2012 @ 11:42 pm
One month and two weeks.  
These days, I've been reminiscing a lot, and that's when I get really sad. I start to realize things and may contribute further to the fact that we could never be together again. I allow myself to remember and place myself in the times when I was so blissfully ignorant to how certain personalities can never complement each other.

I'm balik-sa-dating-ugali (BSDU) in its truest form. I'm back to my college self, thinking I'm meant to be with every guy I encounter, thinking all this time, it may have just been so and so. Or that maybe this new guy that is walking right towards me now could be the love of my life. I invented the term for this (and perhaps that's the reason I embody it so much), and it's called being a mind slut. Kung sino-sino nalang, soulmate ko na. Jusko.

On another note, my favorite thing to imagine is our life together. That in that other universe hey, maybe we're an awesome PD couple with an awesome PD-ed home and happiness all over. Maybe if we made other choices earlier in the game, that could have been the outcome. It's like stalking on Facebook, or I guess like doing drugs (how could I be sure? I'll never know ha ha). You feel light and happy satisfying your curiosity until you stop and realize that hey that'll never be your life or your permanent feeling. Or in my case, that'll never be what we're like. It's a lot of fun living in that imagined version of ourselves. Until I have to stop.

Stop.

One day, I will stop myself from looking to the past. One day.