Today, my horoscope said, "Accept your complexity without attempting to change it."

Haha makes sense.

Today was such a horrible horrible day!!! Everything went wrong. And just when I'd think things were picking up or that it couldn't get any worst, it did! Hay... =( These are the things that made me happy anyway!

1 - Webcam with Botchong!! Thanks Pong! Such a cute kid!!

2 - Sleepless in Seattle on HBO! I swear, that movie never gets old. I love it so much!

3 - The trailer for the Strawberry Swing video!!! =) It's so beautiful! I can't wait!! =) I love seeing beautiful things! =)



I wanna fly and have the planet I take off from turn into butterflies too!

4 - Listening to Coldplay! It's always nice to listening to music you love so much and to remember it again. =)

Hmmm... I need to change my icons!

I think the correct word for me is daunted. I'm daunted by all the possibilities that lie in front of me now -- which careers or interests to pursue, what I can actually make into a career and what is really just something I want to come home to at the end of the day and peacefully keep to myself without pressure, what things to pursue NOW, what ideas can wait, what things I might be too late to chase after in the future...Hay. Well, as usual. Still trying to feel my way through life!

And I just have to say that what I really didn't like about Transformers 2 was its score. Or rather, its lack of one. I didn't really have complaints against the movie the first time I watched it because it was just a brainless action movie for me (something I expected it to be anyway hahaha!). But I watched it again with my sister this time, and there were only like 2 moments wherein the original Transformers score from the first movie comes out again. It's horrible! Everything else is some Linkin Park riff. I'm so disappointed. The score of the first Transformers was so beautiful -- I remember when the helicopter that was actually a Decepticon landed in the military base and the music just highlighted how exciting the movie was going to be. And hello, who can forget how AWESOME it was when the Autobots all came to Earth!?!? It was the score that really... MADE IT. and MADE YOU FEEL IT. Hahaha!



I feel really dorky for adding these snippets as "proof" hahaha but oh well... Start listening at 2:30 to get to the exciting part! Hahaha to help you remember!! Hahaha! =) Poor Steve Jablonsky, his beautiful score could have been taken to the next level. Instead, Linkin Park took over and destroyed it. The movie was like this long Linkin Park music video with really good CG. The first movie's poetic score was totally eclipsed. It's terrible. =(

And parang, there were no real Michael Bay moments. Like you know how in Michael Bay movies, you KNOW it's him because of (well, besides the score and how poetic it is -- watch The Rock and The Island -- suuuper nice with the music!!) those kissing against the sunset scenes, the slow motion military men running with helicopters landing in the background, the 360 dollies, etc... But in Transformers 2, he barely lingered on those scenes. How sad =( I love them pa naman hahaha dramatic effect and all. But really, he had lots of Shia and Megan Fox kissing scenes na 360 dolly but he'd cut bigla. No lingering or slow motion blah blah like his other movies would have! So sad. =(

Anyway, I just had to post this other "video" that I found on Youtube hahaha while going through Steve Jablonsky's stuff. It's basically comparing the score of Gladiator (Hans Zimmer ONE OF MY FAVORITE COMPOSERS!!! Maybe 3rd next to Clint Mansell and Dario Marianelli - though I can never decide who is actually my favorite hahahaha), and the score of The Island, which was composed by Jablonsky, and how they sound very similar. Hahaha.



Oh well, I love both movies and scores very much. =)

Oh my god. I'm so hung over I feel like high school Vicky!

In my mind, I did the right thing.... Sometimes, you just have to stand up for yourself and what you want from life. And make no excuses, or feel sorry for ever choosing what I think is good for me.

Hoboooyyy... I'm 3/4 through making the Tin Man, and it's depression point. I'm just so sick of spray painting! I'm so sick of the smell of chrome and rugby. I was so dizzy last night! I feel so gross and dirty, and even if I take a bath, I'll still get dirty later. I'm so sick of chrome!!! And how when I spray paint, it inevitably gets to my fingers. I can't even wipe my face that's so sweaty, or touch food! I'm so hungry! Hay... I thought styling would give me a nice break from art dept. stuff, but I guess I was wrong! Hahaha! THERE'S NO ESCAPE. Hahahahaha! Oh well... And I've used up 7 cans of chrome spray already! This is so crazy!!! Hay... Here we go. I hope I'm sane in my shoot tomorrow! In anticipation for Sunday... =S

Sometimes, even if I dread certain shoots and wish I didn't have to do them, I get pissed when I prep for them and they don't push through. So annoying, I prepped na nga, my living room is full of baskets of things from my real life that I can't use because of the "pending dates".... ugh. And I repaint things I used before and use supplies for nothing... Sucks! And get stressed for nothing... Oh well. I think I've had three shoots this month where I've prepped and they're still "pending..." Well, I guess it's a good thing rin since I really don't know how I would have done them in this overbooked season, but still...

AND I'm quite happy I got passed all of that and now, I know for sure and am thankful that nothing really happened. I can honestly say I don't feel anything towards you, I don't care at all anymore. I'm not nostalgic for that time in my life, except that it was much simpler financially, and I know exactly why things went the way they did. Should anything have really happened with us, it would have been over a long time ago. I can't believe I gave him so much credit and held him on such a high pedestal when none of those feelings were ever deserved. In the end, though I tried to find something more than a drunken teenager and a few clouds of smoke, there was nothing there in the first place. That's really just all he really was, and much less than I deserved myself.

I don't know why I thought of that, I just did on the way home kanina hehehe. =)

There's nothing that makes me sadder or more regretful than work than I'm not proud of. Even it it's not REALLY my fault, and the higher powers choose what gets approved, but still... I should know better. And I hate that I even made those outfits in the first place. Oh well. I guess I was just really excited for this project, not being able to style in so long (art dept has taken over my life completely!), and still getting it wrong. I don't na nga get to style a lot or at all sometimes, and I wasn't even able to do a job I can say I'm really proud of in one of the rare times I can almost completely determine what people will be wearing. Oh well. I guess this is my karma for making the outfit I want plus another obviously not nice option so that my choice will be picked. But I guess that's why the higher powers aren't stylists themselves -- they choose the obviously not nice option instead. Fuckers. And then it has to say "Styled by Victoria Velasco" huhuhu =(

Today I opened my old real-life journal, where I wrote all my thoughts and stories and ideas when I first got into prod. If there's one thing I learned from that time of my life (well, a bit before it anyway,) it's that sometimes things in life don't work out. But in the end, it's okay, I'll be okay.

Maybe it's time I remember all those things in life I wanted to be before, and become them now.

SO RANDOM: Is it really correct to put a comma before every conjunction? That's and, or, and but.

I'm guilty!

It's very daunting realizing that it's that time in my life where the decisions I make affect my future forever. I'm just starting out with... EVERYTHING, so it's a very delicate time, and one thing, one wrong move, one slip, could make me change directions just like that... I'm very confused, running around with my head chopped off (that's what it feels like, arms flying in the air and somehow, screaming...), so every choice I make weighs more than I would like it to... or rather, more than I think I can be responsible for...

I wish I could say I have no regrets about the things in life I've done so far, but I can't help but think "what if" and "I should have..." What makes me think more is that I used to be without those thoughts... I used to have no regrets, and I used to be thankful for every moment of my being able to do this. Maybe something happened along the line, maybe I didn't quit while I was on top... Maybe I ignored the feeling of finality that came with the end of Rakista. (Yes, it's been 6 months of feeling like this hahaha.)

Well, I guess things change inevitably, but is it time to change with them? Will everything REALLY be okay?

So that's why I've got my livejournal!!! Hahaha! It's such a nice rainy morning to sleep to, but I'm on a mission so... Anyway, this is my first real morning awake in a very long time. I don't remember when the last time I had a REAL BREAKFAST was. Bacon never tasted so good! :)

Jon Favreau (not the actor) is really hot! =D

I want a hug in my pajamas! =)

Ugh. I hate Sundays!

Terminator 2 was nice!! I was under very strict orders to watch AT LEAST that prequel to Terminator Salvation before watching it... Hahaha! It's nice pala! It's a good action movie even for now, it did that motorcycle to helicopter thing that Wolverine copied! And it's even philosophical! Hahaha! Coolness, can't wait to see the future now! =)

I never thought my life would "end up" the way it has so far... It kind of makes me excited to realize this knowing there's so much out there for me, but at the same time, there's also so much room to fuck up.

Tomorrow's TO DO list should not reflect today's... Hay...

SANA KRIS ALLEN COMES HERE!!!!!!!!! I'd so watch!!! HE'S SO GUAPO!!! AHHHH! I feel like my grade 4 self the first time I saw Leo in Romeo + Juliet or something when I watch American Idol. He's so guapo. And he's my age. Shet. I turn into such a fangirl talaga....

Atonement has to be one of my favorite movies of all time. It is so devastating and beautiful at the same time. I remember crying my eyes out when I first watched it, and talking about it and being disturbed about it for a whole week afterwards. The score is a perfect complement to it - it's haunting at the right times, and sad when it needs to be. I really love Joe Wright and what he did to Pride and Prejudice before this, and I think Atonement was the perfect step up from it. I think he should make poignant period pieces all the time! I also love love LOVE how it ended. It broke my heart into a million pieces, but I was also so happy in the end because the movie was just so beautiful. And I also have to say -- I love how the PD is all cool colors: blue, green, brown stuff, and the lighting is very warm, always sunlight or something. Ganda.

I'm looking for a new craft to make...

Guys, help me fulfill my dream of becoming an internet celebrity! Hahaha! Visit my other blog (OMG!!! CHEATING ON LIVEJOURNAL!!! hahahaha) -- http://the-art-department.blogspot.com =) It's about my art dept life and other stuff related to PD/styling/random art projects! Hahaha! =) Go go click! Hahaha!

No... It can't just be this... What happened to everything else? =(